Our Whole World

The Sick Note

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Dear Sir I write this note to inform you of my plight
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And at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
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My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly gray
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I write this note to tell why Paddy's not at work today

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While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear
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And to throw them down from off the top seemed quite a good idea
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But the gaffer wasn't very pleased, he was an awful sod
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He said I had to cart them down the ladder in me hod.


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Well clearing all those bricks by hand, it seemed so very slow
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So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
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But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
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That a barrel full of building bricks is heavier than me.


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So when I had untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
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And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
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I took off like a rocket and to my dismay I found
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That half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

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Well the barrel broke my shoulder as on to the ground it sped
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And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head
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I held on tight, though numb with shock from this almighty blow
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And the barrel spilled out half its load fourteen floors below


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Now when those building bricks fell from the barrel to the floor
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I then outweighed the barrel so I started down once more
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I held on tightly to the rope as I flew to the ground
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And I landed on those building bricks that were scattered all around.



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Now as I lay there on the deck I thought I'd passed the worst
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But when the barrel reached the top, that's when the bottom burst
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A shower of bricks came down on me, I knew I had no hope
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In all of this confusion, I let go the bloody rope.


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The barrel being heavier, it started down once more
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And landed right on top of me as I lay on the floor
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It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only say
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That I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today.